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It's been a great five years... [01 October 2008 | 05:33 pm] [ mood | refreshed ] [ music | Angela Aki - TODAY ] Five years ago today, I created this DeadJournal. I left LiveJournal to get away from people I knew in real life who were visiting it and learning things about me that they didn't like. It's a little crazy to think that I've documented five years of my life on here, but it's true. I'm a little aghast myself, especially when I go back and read stuff that I wrote way back when. It almost feels like the person I am now isn't the person who wrote those things, and that's perhaps more true than I think. There were so many ups and downs in those five years. I survived junior high, Alex and I had our weirdo semi-friendship/flirtatious period/whatever the crap it was, I had my first (and so far only) boyfriend, I survived high school, I freakin' graduated, I entered college, I survived my first year of college. I found an amazing group of friends that I'm thankful for every day because our dynamic when we're together is what I've always wanted but never seemed to be able to find until the later part of high school. I had involvements and entanglements in different places on the internet. I learned to live on my own. I'm learning how to live, albeit one day at a time. I've come so far in five years. Unfortunately, the journey here on DeadJournal must come to an end. Due to a group of four people, I no longer feel like I can post here safely. Ever since Seth, Lex, Christian and Joseph came clean (or rather, they just admitted to something I already knew was true, which wasn't what I was looking for anyways) about publicly ridiculing me on hikaru.sc and less-than-kind comments were left by Christian and Joseph, I've felt like I have to watch what I say. That's not how it should feel in a place where you should be able to get your thoughts out there. Self-censorship is a terrible thing because it means that you just keep stuff inside. I left LiveJournal to get away from that, and now I have to get away from DeadJournal because of that very thing. Thus, it has come to this. I don't know how many people will read this. I don't know if anyone will care. But it's something I have to do for myself. I've got to start with a clean slate. That's why I'm moving back to LiveJournal with a new account and--it pains me to say this--friend-only posts. That puts at least one person I know who may still read this (hi, Priscilla!) at an imposition, but I have no choice. I won't delete this account, I just won't post in here anymore. I'll keep up with my meager friend list, but given the inactive nature of DeadJournal, I won't be surprised to find one day that things just stop. We'll see. We all need change. Thank you for the past five years. End entry #1,205. - David Phan 10-1-08 leave a comment

Agh, it's finally done... [30 September 2008 | 11:47 pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | AAA DEN-O form - Climax Jump the Final ] I spent all afternoon dealing with the horrific S2 style system, but now I've finally produced something that I'm happy with. House and Fringe were both great tonight. Now that Lucas is moving in on Wilson's territory as House's best bud, now I'm starting to entertain visions of House/Lucas and then Wilson comes back and is ultra peeved off. Seriously. There's more subtext in House than I've ever seen in any other show. Fringe - annoying writing problems = success! It's too bad that Fringe looks like it'll return to the formulaic plot structure next episode--hey there, Massive Dynamic--but at least tonight's episode stands as an example of the writers being able to churn out a good episode without predictable plot elements. It's the second time in two weeks that Shay let us out of writers studies early. I'm really liking this! Harner gave me a C on my Shakespeare essay. Ehhh, it wasn't all that great anyways. I think I was reaching for the God interpretation, especially since it's kind of a given that all of his sonnets are about love. I just felt like I wouldn't've been able to say anything particularly insightful if I didn't reach for some farfetched interpretation, so whatever. Since I spent all day trying to work with S2 (and eventually reverting back to S1), it means I didn't get any reading done during the afternoon. I ought to do that now. And start on My Year of Meats for writers studies. I hope it's a decent book. leave a comment

In the shower just now... [30 September 2008 | 03:18 am] [ mood | contemplative ] As I was taking my shower (I literally just got out about six or seven minutes ago), I came to a very important realization. It pains me to have to do this, but I see no other alternative. All will be revealed tomorrow. leave a comment

The economic situation... [30 September 2008 | 02:26 am] [ mood | worried ] I feel stressed out reading what all I can about the current economic crisis in the US. My main concern is if my dad gets laid off because he's the only person in our family who works... but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that Lockheed Martin can stand to keep as many workers as possible because of our involvement in Iraq, assuming that the MGS4-coined "war economy" is at work (albeit in a more realistic form). I'm just scared about what might happen. I mean, you're not hearing a bunch of stories right now about people outside of the housing and banking industries losing their jobs, but I don't doubt that the effects of the crisis will eventually effect other industries. And now I just read a Reuters article with some quotes by analysts who say that the effects of the economy taking a serious turn for the worse may be felt within days. And the number of layoffs may increase in a month. I'm scared. leave a comment

Wow, way to go, Sony... [29 September 2008 | 11:32 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire ] I got my e-mail about the LittleBigPlanet news blog opening its doors for the LBP beta six hours after they posted it and thus I missed out. Very efficient, Sony. I'm playing The Outbreak right now. So far, I've come across two dead ends. This totally goes against what's stated in The Zombie Survival Guide because the characters act irrationally and that just causes everyone to die. It's not cool at all. I'm determined to keep playing this until I "win." It was nice seeing my parents again. So not nice to discover that ants were entering the kitchen through this random hole under an electrical outlet. Ugh. So. Heroes. The plot twist about Tracy explains a lot, really. It explains stuff about Niki, too, if my theory is right. leave a comment

Wow, I've got almost nothing to do... [28 September 2008 | 11:26 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It ] So while I ran my spyware/virus scan last night, I decided to do some homework and read for my classes. I'm actually putting myself ahead of schedule and might very well go to sleep earlier than usual the rest of this week if I keep this up. That's pretty awesome. Of course, this is assuming that I'll even go to bed earlier than usual at all. I always say I will, but I never do. Sigh. This is like the second weekend in a row that TBS has done a House marathon (or was the last one two weeks ago?). In any case, it's certainly a preferred alternative to whatever the Disney Channel wants to shovel out. Pushing Daisies starts up again this Wednesday! Wow, that means that this week I've got something to watch every weeknight except for Friday. And then the vice-presidential debate is on Thursday, which preempts The Office, but that's okay since Ugly Betty is spared. At least this week will be a bit of a breather compared to last week. leave a comment

Way to go, WinZip 12.0... [27 September 2008 | 10:28 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Angela Aki - たしかに -piano version- ] So I downloaded a pirated copy of WinZip 12.0 only to find that my computer suddenly started going berserk because I was trying to install it. Guess there were some unsavory things it was trying to install (bad WinZip!) so I had to uninstall it and now I'm trying to get rid of all vestiges of the spyware off of my computer. I think I'm going to have to run a scan in safe mode after SNL. Eagle Eye was veeeeery good. It's a quality popcorn flick, which means you don't have to turn your brain on at all. Just sit back and enjoy the ride! I like seeing movies like that every once in awhile. I might just go back and watch the first two Transporter movies just so I can watch the third one. Jason Statham is smoking. leave a comment

How amusing people can be... [26 September 2008 | 11:28 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | 柴咲コウ - Sweet Mom ] I really do enjoy seeing people scrambling around to try to secure a beta key for LittleBigPlanet. People are sending multiple e-mails to one source, moaning and complaining, being annoying... The most I've done is send one e-mail to IGN and one e-mail to What If Gaming. If I don't get in, pfft, I'm not going to care as long as I can get a demo later on. The levels you create in the beta aren't going to carry over to the final release anyways. Britney's new single is addicting and I don't know why. It's certainly a stronger song than Gimme More, which just made me scratch me head. I felt a little drowsy during the presidential debate tonight. That tends to happen when all they do is discuss foreign policy issues for almost an hour. Personally, I'm more interested in hearing what the candidates plan for the nation at home. I'm not belittling the importance of foreign policy, but I feel so far removed from it that I can't help but not care about it as it doesn't directly affect me in my everyday life. (I did like how Kissinger got name-checked. Oh, and how Obama said he would improve internet speeds. The US is so far behind. Can he do something about the price of cell phones, too?) Looks like my parents aren't coming down to visit until Monday. leave a comment

I don't mean to sound like some pompous jerk... [26 September 2008 | 02:53 am] [ mood | working ] [ music | S Club 7 - Sunshine ] Could it hurt to at least do some research when you write a paper to make sure that your facts are correct? The United States was in no way motivated to enter World War II because of the Holocaust, no matter how much of an idealist you are. And the Holocaust! Good lord, it only went on for so long because the Allies chose to ignore what Hitler was up to in favor of making sure that they won the war. Their willful ignorance (especially on the part of the United States, which knew about it as early as 1942) is simply unforgivable. It's funny how strongly I feel about this. Maybe it's because I happened to read more about the Holocaust a couple of days ago instead of doing homework, and so these facts stuck around in my mind long enough to write this response for this girl's philosophy paper. [ 1 ] leave a comment

Yay for naps... [25 September 2008 | 11:27 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Coldplay - Lost! ] I took about a three-hour nap this afternoon. Yep, I'm just that sleep-deprived. But I woke up in time for Ugly Betty, so it's all good. Speaking of which, the show looks so much better now that it's actually being filmed in New York. The New York skyline is for real, none of the stupid green screen stuff they did in the first two seasons. The "sound" of New York on the streets sounds great, too. Ahh, it's so nice not to be annoyed that they're faking New York. Jim proposed to Pam! Freakin' yes! Yes! Yes! Ryan returning as the receptionist is hysterical, but luckily he still looks hot (even though he's still a jerk). People online are going nuts over beta keys for LittleBigPlanet. I want in it just to see for myself why gaming journalists are hyping the game to no end. I mean, I'm not into level creation--never have been, never will be--so I assume that if I do get LittleBigPlanet, it'll be solely to play other people's levels and the like. I've never created my own steps in DDR. I've never created my own stage in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. What makes them think I'll want to create entire levels in LittleBigPlanet? Can't wait for tomorrow to be over and done with. leave a comment

Starting to nod off... [24 September 2008 | 11:41 pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Arcade Fire - In the backseat ] I'm reading for sociology right now and I can feel myself starting to fall asleep. Not because it's boring, but because I've been sleep-deprived. Not cool at all. I still have my Shakespeare paper to write. At least it's only two pages long, but I don't know what he really wants us to do with the OED. I mean, the sonnet is self-explanatory--no hidden meanings as far as I can tell, and I've looked up practically every word in the sonnet--and the only ones that might possibly throw a wrench into the works are strange words that've already been defined in the book. This is a ridiculous assignment. Yay for Ugly Betty and The Office tomorrow. Arcade Fire's first album is really good. I guess I didn't give them a fair chance when they appeared on SNL. I thought they were kinda weird, but man, Funeral is all sorts of awesome. Crossing my fingers and hoping that Neon Bible is just as good or better. So I'm walking from my apartment to the bus stop. It's sunny, then clouds show up out of nowhere. I figure, hey, the temperature has gone down! Then while I'm on the bus, this random downpour starts. So I have to walk in the rain from the trigon to Zachary. Not fun, but it's better than walking and getting all sweaty. I am ready for colder temperatures and no humidity! [ 1 ] leave a comment

Food for thought... [24 September 2008 | 01:09 am] [ mood | working ] "A woman who thinks she is sexy is, and possibly a man who thinks he's sexy, isn't." - Hugh Laurie leave a comment

Working on not very many hours of sleep isn't too fun... [23 September 2008 | 11:23 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | BoA - QUINCY ] I think I haven't gotten any more than three and a half hours of sleep the past couple of days. I need to fix that tonight, provided that I don't procrastinate any further on my Shakespeare paper, which will be written tomorrow because I don't want to deal with it tonight other than look up ten words in the OED. Watched BoA's live tour 2008 DVD today. Some pretty good stuff right there! She kills on the choreography and I love hearing her songs played by a backing band. Seriously, I don't know why anyone would want to watch a concert where the act is performing to a backing track. That's so boring. Woohoo for Felicia Day on House! And her character didn't die! The House/Wilson references were in full force this episode as well. House "hits on" another doctor and the doctor asks House if he's checking him out, then he remarks that he's not gay. Oh, writers, you slay me. Fringe was good, but it's falling into a predictable pattern that House has managed to avoid simply because the average viewer doesn't know any of the weirdo diseases. Okay, we get that Massive Dynamics is in on everything, we get that all of the cases have to do with Walter's past research. Can they start cutting to the chase? Please? I think I did well on my sociology test. Fingers crossed. leave a comment

Heroes was confusing... [22 September 2008 | 11:59 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | ayaka - 手をつなごう ] According to a couple of my friends, Heroes was confusing even though I missed the first five or so minutes (I jumped in right after the title card, actually), so it looks like the beginning wasn't as crucial as I thought it was. There were some definite high points that showed an improvement on the start of season 2, but there were still low points. Mohinder has super seduction powers? Really? I'm feeling a little nervous about how Until the End of Ends is gonna be received. Are my group members gonna think it's crap? Reading over it again, all of the flaws are starting to show. Today was a crappy first day of autumn. The high was around 90 or something. According to Accuweather, the temperature won't plummet until October 1st when the high is supposed to be in the 70's. Ha, we'll see how that turns out as October gets closer. I need to get a start on my painting reaction assignment for writers studies and study for my sociology test. leave a comment

I finally finished it... [22 September 2008 | 03:24 am] [ mood | accomplished ] 21 pages. 6,156 words. The title is "Until the End of Ends." Now I get to read for philosophy and write my 4-page philosophy paper. That part is not very cool. But I'm done with that short story and I can't begin to say how pumped I am that I finished it. leave a comment

It's coming along fine... [21 September 2008 | 11:54 pm] [ mood | creative ] [ music | TOKIO - 雨傘 ] It's exciting to write something fairly long that I feel engaged in. It may not interest everyone else, which I guess sucks to an extent, but what matters is keeping myself happy. I think it might be ironic how I'm happy with it, but looking at it from an objective standpoint, it might be one of those stories that has no plot that I dislike. Ha ha! Gonna have to write my 4-page philosophy paper draft after finishing this still-untitled short story up. I'll just spew out what I can since it's a draft. It won't be very good, but whatever. I've got sleep to consider. leave a comment

SNL was pretty good... [21 September 2008 | 01:57 am] [ mood | working ] [ music | Vampire Weekend - Walcott ] Nothing against Michael Phelps, but James Franco is a much better host than Michael Phelps, though I was worried during the opening monologue when his dialogue sounded very unnatural and he kept smiling all the time. And I really liked the second song that Kings of Leon did, so now I'm downloading Because of the Times and Only by the Night. Ha ha. leave a comment

It's good to write again... [20 September 2008 | 10:27 pm] [ mood | creative ] Writing really does feel therapeutic. It takes my mind off of things for a little while. But SNL does that as well. Hence why I'm going to watch it now. So yeah. leave a comment

Need sleep quite badly... [19 September 2008 | 11:59 pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | 椎名林檎 - 実録 -新宿にて- ] I was falling asleep while grinding in FFIX. I find that hilarious. I would so go to sleep early, except I have to get started on something tonight or else I'll be swamped and stressed come Sunday. Probably gonna start on my 5-page short story for writers studies about a painting from the Stark Gallery. Too bad the ones we were able to see weren't particularly inspiring. Gonna have to wing this one and see where it takes me. Still unsure of how I'm going to go about things tomorrow because the game is at 2:30 and I'm not going to it. Should I go see Ghost World and then go grocery shopping and grab Chick-fil-A before lunch (thus making Chick-fil-A my lunch)? Or should I go at my usual time? Both ways, I don't take advantage of the vacuum that settles in College Station whenever there's a home game. Only way I'd get to take advantage of it would be to go during the game, but that seems like a ridiculous idea if I'm going to go grocery shopping and then have Chick-fil-A for lunch or dinner. Man, why does the game have to be at 2:30? leave a comment

Gotta enjoy what relaxation I can... [18 September 2008 | 11:40 pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | V6 - LIGHT IN YOUR HEART ] I really do dread the times during each semester when tests and assignments seem to swoop out of nowhere. The first day of autumn is on Monday! The weather actually seems faintly fall-like, so I'm quite pleased. Ike did at least one good thing after all. Can't wait until I have to start bundling up. That's when I'll be ecstatic. Ha ha. The discussion in sociology today involved the "norm" of one's physical appearance. The "lecture," as it were, focused mainly on women but we briefly touched on men. And I was once again reminded of how freakin' awesome my sociology class is. Should do my homework and get some sleep. I've been so sleep deprived the past couple of weeks. I say this and yet I always continue sleeping at some ungodly hour. Sigh. [ 3 ] leave a comment

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